We clambered over moss-covered rocks and down slippery embankments, meandering slowly, the sound of turbochargers and the creak of exhaust gases being the only sounds heard over the rumble of limestone under the wheels. Somewhere near the summit, a red-tailed hawk screeched in warning as our lead vehicle turned north up the ridge. It’s a great day driving a $250,000 SUV that, judging by Zeus’s beard, seems to be just as happy in the wild as we are.
Either way, it felt like we were in the heart of the Black Forest in Germany, with tons of canopy, fog, moss and mountains all around. With 270 acres of trails and endless off-road testing at Northern Kentucky’s Dirty Turtle Off-Road Park, the guys at All-Terrain Outfitters serve as the primary rescue/spotter vehicles and we’re ready to put our 4×4² Avatars into action. css-p0u9qf {-webkit-text-decoration: underline; text-decoration: underline; text-decoration-thickness:.0625rem; text-decoration-color: #595959; text-underline-offset: 0.25rem color: #595959 ;-webkit-transition:background 0.4s;transition:background 0.4s;background:linear gradient(#ffffff, #ffffff 50%, #FFC84E 50%, #FFC84E);-webkit-background -size:100% 200%; background-size: 100% 200%;}.css-p0u9qf:hover {color: #000000; text-decoration-color: #000000; -webkit-background-position: 100% 100%; background-position: 100% 100%; } Dirty Dess-Benz G-Wagen Tempo.
While much of the public either gasped in disgust or applauded at the sight of our oversized German loan, close friends were stunned to learn that we would indeed be taking a $250,000 off-road SUV. Naturally, we shrugged off the haters and naysayers and tested the G550 4×4² as both a daily driver and a bi-turbo muddy water roller.
The latest cheer for the outgoing G-Wagen generation is an exercise in extremism and simplicity. This demilitarized G-Wagen, with its posh cab and Unimog legs, is arguably one of the best trucks money can buy – provided you have plenty of them.
Equipped with everything from carbon fiber fenders to adjustable KW twin-tube shock suspension, the 4×4² embodies the style of the brash power-player, both in looks and performance. Unfortunately, the first part of our review will be about the street riding experience, as most people who can buy these beasts tend to roam the city rather than learn how to use the G locker consistently.
On the road and in urban environments, the 4×4² outperforms most vehicles in its class. Still, despite its impressive lift, bulky dimensions, and inevitable handlebar play, once you get used to the G’s 7’4″ height and nearly the same width, it’s surprisingly easy to handle. It’s important to remember that this tank is “square” for some reason, and most parking lots won’t fit it, so finding a suitable parking spot can take a while.
When we say “simple”, we are not joking. No HUD or driver settings to switch. Heck, this thing doesn’t even have cruise control—only brake and gas pedals, a steering wheel, and some fancy alloy shifters for every climate and driving situation. Driver controls follow the same philosophy as the G Bodyline. This is an extremely simple approach to driving an old-school car that is a breath of fresh air for weekend warriors.
In terms of options, our G came with a single $6,500 upgrade: Paprika’s awesome metallic paint. Wrapped in that pink hue, with carbon fenders covering the big bright red brakes, twin-tube dampers and springs peeking out from behind the unique 22-inch alloy wheels, you’ll get plenty of show with all the moving V8 Biturbos.
Really. Step on the accelerator and force-feed Mercedes V8 rotors propel two center-mounted turbochargers to 416 horsepower and 450 lb-ft of torque. When you do, expect efficiency numbers to drop into the single digits that’s typical for an acceleration ramp, thanks to an equally beefy 4×4² curb weight and permanent all-wheel drive transmission. Gently step on the gas pedal and the EPA thinks you’ll also get 11 mpg in the city and on the highway.
Due to the car’s extreme suspension geometry and steering calibration, the play felt while driving can be a little confusing at first for those who have never driven an SUV with a lift before. While switching to a sporty setting with electronic damping does reduce body roll and rebound, some fine-tuning of the adjustable KW dampers may be appropriate if you don’t want the rigidity of a Focus RS.
The interior of the G really has Mercedes-Benz luxury and useful technology. The signature heated and ventilated 4×4² suede seats with adjustable bolsters and dense carbon fiber strips are good examples, but the cabin also has what we would call strange options.
For example, the hinged tailgate is only 36 inches wide due to the limited swing range, increased latch and depth of the door itself. The bulky closed portal made loading extremely cumbersome, as it could not be opened from the side like some refrigerated trucks and vans.
Other annoyances include automatic lowering but not lifting, windows and a sunroof, non-adjustable rear seats (leaving only 41.9 inches of limited legroom) and an uncomfortable, almost perfectly upright seating position. Finally, parking something this big without a 360-degree camera can also be a little nerve-wracking. With a turning radius comparable to a steam locomotive and a curb weight of 6,825 pounds, the G feels about the same.
Urban headaches and design flaws aside, we move on to the off-road segment of this review, where the 4×4² dives with forks and knives at the ready. For decades, the Geländewagen has been the vehicle of choice for armies around the world, thanks in no small part to its triple locking differential. Although it is recommended in extreme cases to leave the front lockers due to limited mobility, noise, etc., heavy rain and limestone-strewn trails required participation once we reached the first trail.
Driving off-road in such extreme conditions while enjoying the comforts of a $250,000 Mercedes-Benz is like being brushed with Persian silk. From the mountain climb that began that day, the monster surpassed it, while the ventilated seats cooled our hips and the Mozart symphony filled our eardrums.
With reinforced front skid plates, portal axles, ported and foldable exhausts on both sides, and a sturdy Mansfield stainless steel grille at the rear, this G has a lot to like if you like a standard off-road seat. Wheel articulation, breakaway points, power folding side mirrors, low range adjustment and 18-inch ground clearance all make the 4×4² an extremely capable off-road machine, with the exhaust purring every time you press the accelerator pedal.
The only hurdles we ran into during our nearly five-hour off-road test were the car’s turning radius, having to constantly worry about the SUV’s 86.2-inch width, and ground clearance issues with the Mansfield rear handlebars, combined with a lack of grip on hill climbs. with Pirelli Scorpion off-road tires. Another catch: sometimes when you reach the top of a hill, a front-drive camera comes in handy, especially when the safety watcher’s seat isn’t available.
For buyers of luxury SUVs, the 4×4² is arguably one of the most unabashed and badass options money can buy. The man who saved the G-Wagen twice said once twice that the main reason he prefers the 4×4² over any other car is not because it’s so off-road capable or luxurious, but because it looks like it was designed five year old child. Bulky, boxy, and built to take a beating, this demilitarized German car is a vehicle that people either love or hate, not only because of its insatiable thirst for good gas, but also based almost entirely on looks.
What started out as a failed war machine has turned into a monster. While the new generation has strayed somewhat from its 40 year old roots, you have to respect the fact that this SUV is one of the greatest success stories in automotive history. Imperfect, impractical, expensive, powerful, imposing, obnoxious, inefficient, ugly, crazy, amazing – all these words can be used to describe the 4×4² Geländewagen version. You know? She really doesn’t care what you think of her or who rides her.
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Post time: Aug-01-2023